Married

I met Shane at work. He instant messages me, we chat back and forth. Shane was super sweet and gives me tons of compliments. I give him my phone number.

One night I’m out with my girlfriends and he is texting me. He’s again being sweet and charming. He was driving to his hometown for the weekend. I tell him I want to talk to him. He says he can’t talk because his son is sleeping in the back seat. He never mentioned a son. He then tells me he has two sons. I’m very surprised because he hasn’t mentioned this in the few days we’ve been talking.

The next day Shane calls me and explains he has two sons from two different women. Two baby mamas, sounds like drama. Despite this, I like him. We text on and off during that weekend and make a date for Monday night.

Monday he comes to pick me up and we go to dinner. Shane is being so sweet and tells me I look great. He then drops another bomb. He tells me he’s separated but actually still married. He gives the spiel about being unhappy and all that jazz. I’m in a bit of shock over this and am not really sure what to say. We get back to my house and I let Shane come up for a bit. He explains his situation is complicated. He says he really likes me and would like to give things a try with us. Against better judgment, I agree to give him a chance. He kisses me good night and leaves.

That week at work we instant message back and forth. I’m still concerned about him being “separated”. He assures me things are over with her. I agree to another date. Our date is fun but it feels weird. During our discussion at dinner he tells me that he still lives with his wife but they have separate bedrooms. This is starting to sound like a soap opera.

After dinner he takes me home and I tell Shane I can’t see him anymore. He’s very upset and doesn’t understand. He asks me if I’m dating anyone else. When I tell him yes, I’m dating he gets upset. He thought we were exclusive because we kissed. What?!?! He’s married and still lives with his wife. How can we be in an exclusive relationship?

If we didn’t work together I would have just told him I couldn’t see him and kicked him out but since we do I tell him we can be friends but nothing beyond that. He says this will be too hard for him because he cares about me too much. Ummm, ok. We’ve know each other for two weeks and been on two dates. Finally, he leaves. I’m dreading the awkwardness at work.

Luckily, I manage not to run into him over the next few days. One day he instant messages me to tell me he found a new job and put in his two week notice. Over the next two weeks I avoid him as much as possible. He asks if we can be friends after he doesn’t work there anymore. I tell him I don’t think that is a good idea and he doesn’t talk to me after that. His last day comes and that was the end of that.