Tuesday, February 1, 2011

I'm Not Afraid To Be Happy and That's Why This Guy Got Dumped

Jared sent me an email online telling me what gorgeous eyes I had. I emailed him back and we exchanged a few emails before he asked for my number. I gave it to him and he texted me right away. He asked if he could call and I agreed. Jared seemed like a really sweet guy and he made me laugh. We had tons to talk about and I immediately felt comfortable with him. He worked an overnight shift so he wanted to talk in the morning after he got off work. I talked to him a few mornings while I got ready. Jared asked me out pretty quick. I was feeling him so I was looking forward to go out with him. The few days before our date he called me every morning, every night, and texted me often. I was flattered by all the attention but it was a little much. Jared text me about how excited he was for our first date. He kept telling me he had a good feeling about me.

The night of our date came. He was a cute guy, maybe not completely honest about his height but pretty close. We went to Cheddar’s for dinner. We each ordered a beer and Jared’s toast was “To our last first date ever”. Dinner went well and our conversation flowed. After dinner we went bowling, which was really fun. We had our first kiss at the bowling alley. Jared asked me out for our second date.

The time between our first date and second date was three days. During this time Jared continued to text and call often. I explained to him I get overwhelmed easily and suggested he read my blog. He did and his only question was “Who is the sexy, flirty co-worker?” Not exactly what I was hoping he would get out of the blog. He told me he deleted his online dating profile. I told him I wasn’t ready to delete mine.

Our second date was at Free State Brewery in Lawrence, which is one of my favorite restaurants. Dinner went well although he did mention going on vacation together that summer. He also said how much his parents would love me and he couldn’t wait to introduce me to them. I had joked about stealing the beer mugs. While I had stepped away from the table Jared had bought me a beer mug. It was very sweet of him. After dinner, we went to Java Break for some hot cocoa. Over our cocoa I told Jared we didn’t need to talk on the phone all the time nor did he need to constantly text me. I also clarified that I would like to take things slow and I thought he was rushing things. He seemed receptive to what I was saying.

Jared had already asked me on a third date. Over the next few days he persisted with the constant texting. The texts included things like how amazing he thought I was and how lucky he was to have met me. I, of course, agree with these things but how did he know this after two dates and a week of us talking? I responded to his texts less and less often. Finally, he asked if I was still interested, I responded honestly and told him I wasn’t anymore. I was trying to be nice and said that he had more feelings than I did. He wasn’t getting it so I had to spell it out for him. I told him he liked me more than I liked him and it wasn’t going to work. He tried to convince me otherwise but my mind was already made up.

Over the next several days, I received more texts which included “Why are you afraid to let yourself be happy?” One day he text me and I responded with” I do not think we should communicate anymore.” I got one back that said “Your loss.” Then five minutes later “I really opened up myself to you and I really like you and you really like me too, you’re just afraid to admit it.”

I think I was pretty clear on what I wanted. I asked Jared several times to chill and just take things slow. I even offered him insight into my dating life with my blog. Why am I afraid to let myself be happy because I didn’t want to continue to date someone I didn’t think was right for me? I think by being honest and letting him know it wasn’t working for me shows I do want to be happy and will keep searching for the right guy. I refuse to settle.


  1. I don't know how I've missed that you have a blog all this time, but I'm now going to read the whole thing. LOVE the title of this one! Man, some guys just don't get it...

  2. Shannon, I think you are really level headed and wise. Gillen girls do not settle!